From the outset, let me just state that nothing sinister happened… but there is learning here nonetheless.
So last weekend we were out and about with friends, hubby asked their son “what is your full name?” thinking that what we use is a nickname.
Miss J overhears this, and pipes up “that’s just like Jimmy (our tennis coach) asked me last week – what’s your daddy’s full name?” Hubby was a little taken aback, “why did Jimmy want to know?” Miss J replies, “I don’t know, but he told me I mustn’t tell you or mummy that he asked”
And here are the warning bells, very loud ringing alarm bells!!!
I can quickly deduce the reason why Jimmy wanted to know… his day job in the same industry as hubby and he no doubt was confused about his name. I do all the communication with Jimmy and my surname is different to hubby’s and the girls.
But, that’s not the point. Someone in a trusted position asked my children to keep something from me!!!
Our girls, as you are probably well aware by now, have grown up in Asia spending most of their lives in India. And it is well reported, that girls don’t always receive the same respect in India as other countries and the rates of sexual abuse are quite high. When you live there, it’s reported daily in the local newspaper and more often that not the perpetrator is in a position of trust.
So, we have always talked about our bodies and that our bodies are private and no one is allowed to touch our bodies except mummy and daddy. We did have a ‘touching’ incident a couple of years ago when we lived in Chongqing. Miss J was able to tell me that night what had happened, and although very innocent, it was dealt with quickly and appropriately by the school.
But, what we haven’t been clear about with our girls is “don’t tell mummy and daddy” is code for, tell your parents immediately!
This weekend we are planning a family discussion about the topic, highlighting that it usually means the person is doing or saying something they shouldn’t.
How do you keep your kids safe? What conversations have you had with your kids? Please do share, I would love to know what else I have overlooked!!!
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