We all have ideas of what we want to do and achieve for ourselves. But so often, as a mother, we don’t realise these aspirations.
Why is that?
I think the key lies in the very nature of motherhood. We so often put ourselves second to the needs of our family. This is especially the case as expat mums, where we don’t have the normal support systems in place to help share the load.
What do I mean by putting ourselves second?
Think of any time there is a medical need, for example Madam S broke her arm again (second time in 3 months! And no, she should not have been on the flying fox!) and I literally had to drop everything I was doing and go to the school to collect her. We then spent the next 7 hours between doctors, x rays and hospital getting her arm treated. Of course, it was on a Friday, so everything I had planned to achieve that day was sidelined to the following week.
It’s often the same when hubby has to travel for work. We are left solo parenting, trying to do absolutely everything for the family, on our own. Anything we wanted to do for ourselves goes onto the back burner as we do our best to keep all the balls in the air.
But I think the issue is more intrinsic. Due to our situation – giving up our career, living away from our normal support base, and not investing in ourselves once we have kids, we lose confidence in ourselves. We lose sight of how to make things happen for ourselves. From looking after ourselves to focusing on our own aspirations, without confidence in ourselves it all gets too hard.
Because of this loss of confidence, we procrastinate more. We are more inclined to check facebook than pick up our journal and write down our thoughts. We are more inclined to switch on the TV, than actually invest time and energy in a hobby.
So today I’m calling all mums, let’s stop this spiral and refocus our lives. Let’s talk to each other about our challenges and support our sisterhood to realise the aspirations we have for ourselves.
If you are interested in talking with other mums just like you, join me for my webinar tomorrow – 3 Smart Ways to Achieve What You Want in 2020. In this short, 30 minute webinar, I will be discussing the 3 things you can do to rediscover your aspirations and make them a reality this year! Sign up here.